The other day I mentioned that I got a colonoscopy back in December. I initially got the order from my doctor to get it because of my memory issues, apparently if you got a messed up colon that can mess up your memories TT^TT Insane. I am in my early 30s. Literally when I showed up to get the procedure done, everyone was confused cause I'm way too young. After the procedure they immediately said that I was all good, also cancer free. So, big plus! And that they'll see me again in like 15 years LOL.





WataMote!

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dō Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui!

(No Matter How I Look at It, It's You Guys' Fault I'm Not Popular!)

(2013)

Finally Monica Rial isn't voicing a rich girl character LOL



What I wanted to talk about was my insane diet leading up to my procedure. Shortly after I made my appointment for the beginning of December I realized why I was able to even get that appointment. I had to diet through Thanksgiving, I basically didn't get to eat any yummy foods, which sucked balls cause I married into a mexican family that originally are from Texas T_T all the bbq orz fml





Friends (1998)

Season 5, Episode 8



Most of this is just copy pasta from doctor's instructions.

7 days before the procedure:

Do not eat foods that are hard to digest—for example:

nuts, seeds, bran, popcorn, salads, beans, berries, onions, and peppers.

Peel the skin off of your fruits and vegetables before eating.



5 days before on top of the other stuff:

Do NOT take Iron Supplements, multivitamins, Fish-Oil, and NSAIDS (Ibuprofen, Motrin, Naprosyn, Advil, Aleve, Indocin, Toradol, Persantine, Ticlid, over-the-counter Aspirin (325 mg) or related arthritis medications).

Consume only low fiber meals:

frozen or canned fruit; applesauce, ripe bananas, fruit juice without pulp; well cooked vegetables and vegetable juice; milk, yogurt or other milk products; well-cooked meat such as chicken, turkey, fish or lean meat; eggs, tofu; white or refined cereals, breads, crackers, rice or pasta.



1 day before along with the above:

No solid food the whole day! You will be drinking/eating a clear liquid diet only (avoid liquids that are red, blue, or purple in color). Basically, if you can see through it, you can have it. Examples of clear liquids include: Water, Broth, Tea, Seven-up, Popsicles, Apple juice).



They give you a solution to mix with water and consume to help clear everything in you completely. If the camera ain't seeing clearly during the procedure you are gonna do this all over again and actually pay this time, it would have been around $275.00 for me, might be more or less depending on your insurance.



Start prepping medication by adding water to the fill line. You may find it easier to drink the prep if is chilled in the refrigerator or if you use a straw with the end at the back of your throat. Start drinking your prep medication at 6 p.m. the day before your appointment. You will want to stay home because it will make you go to the bathroom often. Drink one 8 oz. glass every 15 minutes until you have completed 3/4 of the jug (about 3 liters or 12 glasses). Drink an additional 4 glasses of water to maintain hydration. One of my father in laws (my husband's parents are divorced so I have 2 lol) told me to add in gatorade to help with the taste. It could not save it.



I couldn't do it in 15 mins because it made me throw up so I had to do it 30 mins apart so it took double the time. If I threw up I also had to wait another hour before drinking it again per what it said on the bottle TT_TT I can't describe how bad this tasted, there's nothing to compare it to. At least it didn't smell bad.



Continue drinking the rest (the last quarter) of the bowel prep medication at least 4 hours before your appointment time, so I had to get up a little before 4 AM to finish and hope I didn't throw up otherwise no procedure either cause I already threw up like 20% of it AND take 2 pills of simethicone as you start drinking. Again, drink one 8 oz. glass every 10 - 15 minutes until you have finished the jug. After you have finished the jug, take the last 2 pills of simethicone. It is important that you complete this part of the bowel prep.



No solid food today.

Do not drink, chew gum, or smoke or vape 3 hours before your appointment. Keep taking your medications as usual with a small sip of water up until 3 hours before your appointment (unless your doctor gives you other instructions). It is ok to take Tylenol for headache but avoid any of the above-identified NSAID.



Husband drove me to the hospital, estimated time was anywhere from an hr to 4 hrs. It was the first time I ever went under with anesthesia. The sense of time was so weird. I had assumed it took the full 4 hrs, but it was only 30 mins for me so I guess I was super clear LOL



The guy that sat next to me in the waiting room for pick up.



While I waited for my husband to make his way back to the section of the hospital I was in (he went to get breakfast cause he thought he had more time lol) I was sitting in the waiting area. An old dude sat next to me and legit, he looked like Bernie Sanders but tall LOL We small talked a little bit and then it lead to conspiracy theories and you could clearly tell that the nurses and other staff tried to be more silent so they could listen to what Not Bernie Sanders had to say LOL



Me and Not Bernie Sanders Vibin



So if yall ever have to do a colonoscopy this is all the fun wonderful stuff.